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California

by Mary Scholz

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of LADY LIBERTY, The Mother Song (Wild Womxn), California, STRENGTH | HOPE | YOU (acoustic sessions), Love Me Still, The Girl You Thought You Knew, Mary Scholz LIVE at the Blue Light Sessions, The Beauty of It All, and 1 more. , and , .

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1.
California 04:31
I knew about you Like I knew about California I knew it was true But I fought and tried to fly away All that I’d do It seemed to push me in a west direction And knowing all I could lose Still I knew it was the only way Falling forward Falling forward Falling into you The way that you move me Well, it put me in a tough position But seeing all that you do Well, I knew I couldn’t walk away Falling forward Falling forward Falling into you I hear you speak again and I can hardly move There are good things in this life we try to fight That we know that we must choose I knew about you Like I knew about California I knew it was true And for me it was the only way
2.
I can hear my heartbeat beating in my ear Just a thought of you and everything around me disappears You are everything that I have never known And all I want in life right now is for you and I to be alone A hundred days have passed since I have seen your face Okay just three Between you and me, it seems like a damn eternity And I’m the one who hates the girls who say these things But all the words you’ve ever said are right here pulling on my strings And I can’t sleep All I can do is think of you And then I can’t breathe I toss and turn till the sun returns And I just can’t keep My mind from spinning thoughts of you So come on, baby, tell me you’ve been sleepless, too I have come across the other men I’ve known I’ve seen them walking down the street I’ve heard them ringing on my phone But I’ve seen them as if I don’t know their names They fade away into the night Because you’re brighter than the days And I can’t sleep All I can do is think of you And then I can’t breathe I toss and turn till the sun returns And I just can’t keep My mind from spinning thoughts of you So come on, baby, tell me you’ve been sleepless, too I live for when you breeze across my skin And I’ve been dying just to be with you again The way you move, the way you speak It’s better real than in my dreams And I can’t sleep All I can do is think of you And then I can’t breathe I toss and turn till the sun returns And I just can’t keep My mind from spinning thoughts of you So come on, baby, tell me you’ve been sleepless, too I can’t sleep All I can do is think of you And then I can’t breathe I toss and turn till the sun returns And I just can’t keep My mind from spinning thoughts of you So come on, baby, tell me you’ve been sleepless, too
3.
You know, I see you across the room You watch me smile and you watch me move I won’t pretend it’s not just fine I’ll let you watch me anytime We pass our years with nights like this Drawing close and moments we choose to miss And we won’t say a word It’s the loudest silence you’ve ever heard But do you hear the way I feel And can you see the way I try To keep myself from going Across That Line Why do we try You say some things that I can’t stand I tell myself that I’d be better with a different man But I just can’t see past the way you look at me And I can hear the way you feel And I can see the way you try To keep yourself from going Across That Line Why do we try Well, we could say the words But we both know it hurts sometimes Tell me, what is it worth If we just end up saying goodbye And I don’t wanna lose this me and you But I know you feel the way I feel And I know you try, cause we both try To keep ourselves from going Across That Line Why do we try Why don’t we try Just kiss me goodnight
4.
I tied my name to yours I didn’t know it’s what I was doing You even all the scores And then you claim you didn’t do it You wanted me as yours But didn’t like the way that I was moving The world in your control And all the people your students You showed me the ways of your kindness While you taught me to stand in the dark You listed off words to remember And you hardened my heart My tired eyes ignored All the places you’d bruised me They’re colorful and sore And so they showed the world the ways you knew me You showed me the ways of your kindness While you battered me in the dark You listed off words to remember And you hardened my heart Oh, I know this is not Not the way it should be But I cannot escape No, I cannot break free It’s so dark in this room Yeah, it’s dark next to me And I’m feeling around for the things I can’t see I can hear your deep breathing As you fall asleep And I feel this weight lifted While you’re next to me Oh, it’s not just my spirit It’s our old tv And I let it crash down So it crushes your dreams I’m so sorry, my sweet, it was all just too heavy for me You showed me the ways of your kindness But you taught me to swing in the dark You listed off words to remember And you hardened my heart I tied my rope to yours I swear, I didn’t know what I was doing I rode ten miles off shore I thought that you and I could talk through it [You didn’t say much, you didn’t say much] I let you swim around I liked the listless way your body’s moving I left you there to drown So I could claim I didn’t do it You showed me the ways of your kindness While you taught me to swing in the dark You listed off words to remember And you hardened my heart You showed me the ways of your kindness While you taught me to swing in the dark I wish I could say I regret it But you hardened my heart
5.
Drifting through the open air Drifting towards the sky Paper flowers everywhere where they died Faces lifted in our eyes Faces we can’t find Paper flowers from the ones left behind Here we wait to begin Here we wait in a circle with our friends Here we’re saying Until We Meet Again Drifting through the days and nights Wishing we had known Paper flowers everywhere where we go Here we wait to begin Here we wait lighting candles for our friends Here we’re saying Until We Meet Again Until We Meet Again Until We Meet Again Until We Meet Again We have gotten so damn good at vigils in the dark We’ve forgotten where we stood without sirens or broken hearts All our broken hearts Here we wait to begin Here we wait lighting candles for our friends Here we’re saying Until We Meet Again Here we wait to begin Here we say no more flowers, no more friends Here we swear is where it ends Until We Meet Again
6.
I might be what you want, Babe But I can’t be what you need I could give it my best shot But it won’t be the best of me I might be what you like lately You might like what you see I could give it my best shot But it won’t be the best of me Well, there was a time When I had enough Oh, I could give you the world with love And I can’t explain When everything changed Just know it won’t be enough I can see what you want, Babe But you won’t find it in me I could give you my best shot But it’s not who I wanna be I might be what you like, lately You might think that I’m free I could give it my time, Babe But you can’t have the rest of me Well, there was a time When I had enough Oh, I could give you the world with love And I can’t explain When everything changed Just know it won’t be enough I might be what you want, Babe But I can’t be what you need I could give it my best shot But you’d just end up hating me I might be what you like, lately But you won’t like what you see I could give you my best shot But it won’t be the best of me I could give you my best shot But it won’t be the best of me No, no, I can’t give you my best shot Cause he still has the rest of me
7.
All The Time 03:03
I could listen to you sing For all my days I wanna learn your lines of skin Until we both are old and gray And I don’t care if I’m a fool for talking this way Cause there is no one who could love you, baby, Love you like I love you Wanna love you every day I could listen to you dream With all my time I don’t mind it when you scream Or when you’re whispering goodnight And I don’t care if it’s a mess, as long as it’s mine Cause there is no one who could love you, baby Love you like I love you Wanna love you all the time All the time, all the time, all the time All the time all the time, all the time All the time, all the time, as long as you say that you’re mine There is nothing for me but to love you, baby, love you all the time Baby, put your eyes on me Nice and slow Now, Baby, tell me what you see And don’t you tell me you don’t know Cause I remember every time You pulled me in close Cause there is no one who could love you Baby love you like I love you Wanna love you don’t you know All the time, all the time, all the time All the time all the time, all the time All the time, all the time, as long as you say that you’re mine There is nothing for me but to love you, baby, love you all the time I could listen to you sing For all my days I wanna learn your lines of skin Until we both are old and grey And I don’t care if I’m a fool for talking this way Cause there is no one who could love you Baby, love you like I love you Wanna love you every day All the time, all the time, all the time All the time, all the time, all the time All the time, all the time, as long as you say that you’re mine There is nothing for me but to love you, baby, love you all the time
8.
Chelsea comes into the room Dressed in red, with sweet perfume Her cheeks are stained with words they said Her eyes, they match her clothes of red Chelsea sits against the wall She talks it through, explains it all Cause she has love, but love is hard And love, it picks at family scars And so we go, and so we go It’s what we know Sarah waits, she’s not alone She fills her house, she fills her home She doesn’t want the things she owns Her father’s words, her mother’s stones And so we go, and so we go It’s what we know Mary moves from town to town She’s found her home, but can’t sit down She’s learned to love when she’s not around And so she moves from town to town And so we go, and so we go It’s what we know

about

C A L I F O R N I A
For me, that word is synonymous with following the instinct. The inner self.
It means knowing where you music go, and setting out on that journey.

C A L I F O R N I A
It is the journey there, and the life that grows once you arrive.

Let me share with you my journey. And maybe provide the soundtrack to yours.

*California was recorded live, in one room, to an Ampex 8 track tape machine. Electrosound Studios is in Beverley Hills, California, and is a nearly-strictly analog studio.

The tracks "Murder Ballad" and "The Best of Me, The Rest of Me" were done in one take, no do-overs. The rest of the record was a "best take of each song" selection.

credits

released September 19, 2017

All Songs Written by Mary Scholz

Produced by Mary Scholz & Jason Hiller
Recorded and Mixed by Jason Hiller at Electrosound Studios
Mastered by Mike Wells Mastering

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Mary Scholz Los Angeles, California

Hi Everyone - Mary Scholz here! I've been singing and writing songs since I can remember, and have spent the past 15 years touring the US, UK and Europe.
Music has always been a huge part of my life - thanks for letting me continue to make it a part of yours.
Thanks for supporting!
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